Starting a side-job as a private tutor to a classmate I knew from last year. I'm not sure how it's going to go, especially concerning when payments will occur, but I have high hopes for this set-up because it means reinforcement for what I know and a little extra cash in my wallet. Certainly not a bad thing, right?

Tomorrow marks the end of the second week. I should make better use of my time by finding a PA to shadow. I'm still dealing with insistence from students and professors about re-trying medical school. All of their words are coming together to make me feel both crummy and pleased. Even my mother asked if I really was abandoning the ship on the whole medical school deal. People who don't even know me are urging me that I'll regret not applying to medical school. It's been wearing me down in only two weeks.

To be honest, after working on myself and these classes, I was starting to think that maybe I can tackle the MCAT again. Even Ben mulled over the idea about applying to both PA and med school, saying he would even pay the cost of the exam. I don't know what to feel about that. I still think, more than anything, I want to get into school and start becoming financially independent (although dependent on loans). PA school is two years. If I succeed in that and, sometime down the line, find my choice undesirable—am I prepared to deal with the realization that I want to go back and try again? Could I even do that? I do have Ben's assurance that he'll give his full support if I find myself wanting a career change later in life...It's great to have that kind of support. But now I'm confused.

Even my own anatomy professor told me she was thinking of applying to medical school in a couple of years. She already has a PhD and a family. She's set on doing it. Since I'm at a different stage in my life, I can only stand in awe of her determination. She also happens to be one of the people still urging me to apply to med school.  Despite coolly diverting her attention back to my desire to apply to PA school,  the arguing/encouraging still remains. It's stressing me out! I need to work out some sort of mantra or self-hypnosis that lets me focus on their good intentions instead of my own disparaging inner voice.

For now, the plan is still PA school. Past feelings from applying to schools are still a little raw. No one can say for sure what lies ahead in the future, but I'm holding steady to my course.